[We're all in this together.]
Well, hello there, gorgeous. It’s been a long time. A long, long time. A long, long, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. But, it’s a pleasure to be in your presence again.
What’s happened while we’ve been apart? My goodness, let me tell you:
- Miles’ life turned, briefly, into a Lifetime movie (fortunately, not The Pregnancy Pact. Something closer to Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life)
- Beyonce and Jay-Z announced the conception of their child. Kanye West got adorably excited about it.
- Chaperone sniffed an awful lot of rubber cement preparing these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4OEX2mzAAE&feature=player_embedded
Now, if I may, I’d like to share a little bit of information about that last bullet. We, in Chaperone, have created 500 (or, you know, 150) individually designed and assembled record sleeves for your visceral enjoyment. Each one is imbued with the powers of those who made it.
Here’s a rundown of the various powers you may be receiving:
Shaun Paul: Tallness, Mustache Growing, Creepy Beard, Immunity to Dairy, Southern Accent When Mad/Sleepy, Surfer Hair, The Chords of D, C, and G, Uncontrollable Urge to Say the Word Dong, Ghost Adventure-itis,
Mark Sheridan: Unstoppable Editing, Atari Shirt, Multi-instrumentalism, vivid music-related dreaming, cascading waterfall hair, gonzo comedy, invitation to the New York Film Festival, embarrassing high-school photos.
Shaylah Kloska: Adorability +3, Vocational Awesomeness, Lyrical Proficiency, Early to Bed-itude, Part-Time Glutonlessness, Wolf’s Blood, Knife Skills, Landing The Man of Your Dreams, Mighty Collageing, Drunken Domesticity, Cold-Blooded Murderer Syndrome
Christian Rogala: Bad-ass haircut, Cuban Grooves, Spot-On Tom Waits Impression, Hug Magnet, Way With Kids, Omni-instrumentalism, Young at Heart, Allergy to BBQ Chips, Classical Training, Sunny Disposition, American Spirit
Miles Doornbos: Crushing Debt, Romance and Ruin, Obscene Bakery, Nude Apron Wearing, Long Torso Oh NO!, Hip-Hop Hands, Spreading Yourself too Thinerism, Nimble Fingers, Wide Nails, Nerditude, Ghost Adventure-itis, Self Made Hair.
Enjoy all these and more by purchasing our 7″ single at Logan Square Auditorium on Friday, Sept. 2nd: http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=249743858372057